If we are going to discount the mushroom-in-manure option as the origin of the people of London (which probably wouldn’t even appeal as an explanation to a US school board), then the first place to start with any modern urban survival guide is the process of arriving in the great, smoky metropolis. That difficult birth into the urban sprawl.
When Martians first arrived on Earth, they came in spaceships, and owing to a map-reading error landed in Arizona (of course, every self-respecting alien plans to land in Los Angeles). Spaceships being less of an option for the Earth-bound, we may as well start with a more usual method of arriving.
The train station.
Not all London train stations are created equal. They are called termini for a reason. They’re the cruel, hard lump of punctuation that throws the unsuspecting head-first into the urban metropolis. There’s no air bag and contrarily to the literary view, the streets are more typically paved with dog shit, chewing gum, and comatose drunks than gold. At least they're generally softer than the concrete pavement.
Surviving both arrival and the mere visit of a London train terminus requires an understanding of what you may encounter.
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